Where Do I Begin?

Just as a disclaimer, please don't expect proper grammar and punctuation in this blog post, or any other future blog posts. I'll do my best with the spelling, but everything else is up in the air. Run-on sentences, incomplete sentences, numbered lists, and bullet points are all very good friends of mine, you will meet all of them very soon.

Where Do I Begin?

Me. Writing a blog post. I've been planning on doing this for YEARS. But as the king of procrastination, I'm still right on time.

I really don't know where to begin with this thing.

I've been on this planet for over 30 years now. I feel old. 

Now I know why companies always sell products for "$29.99". 

It looks like less.

I'm in a new age bracket. I can officially be a Senator now, so I guess there's that.

I still need 5 more years before I can run for President. Just kidding. I hate politics.

I came across a batch of old photos of when I was younger. One of them was a picture of me and my old cat. I was three years old, laying down on my kitchen floor, missing a sock. The story goes that my family couldn't decide on a name for our cat, so the cat's name just became "Cat". True story.

I miss those days. I miss not having any responsibilities, other than playing, eating, and sleeping. I'm basically saying that I wish I was a cat.

Or a dog, I had a Shih Tzu for 15 years. His name was Reggae. Yes, like the music. He was awesome.

I can remember back to when I was four years old. Everything before that is captured in pictures, old home movies, and stories from others.

I remember my first day of day care/preschool. I remember not understanding "nap time", and I still don't to this day. I would just lay there, staring at the ceiling, until Mrs. Peters told me I could get up. I never took naps, I still don't, when I go to sleep, I go to sleep. 

I remember the very first "snack time", which consisted of three animal crackers, and a little Dixie Cup of milk.

A Dixie Cup.

I felt insulted. 

Maybe the other "kids" thought it was magical that we were getting a whole THREE ANIMAL CRACKERS, but I saw right through the BS.

They had plenty of animal crackers.

They had plenty of milk.

We didn't need rations.

The adults helped themselves of course.

Of course they did.

Then they tried to introduce "sharing".

I wasn't having any of that.

"Do you want to share one of your animal crackers?"

Nope. 

You only gave me THREE to begin with. 

Three.

How about you "share" some of the extra twenty full bags I saw you put in the back.

I didn't think so.

It wasn't all bad though!

I had my first crush in preschool.

If you could even call it that.

It was more like "I like when that girl smiles at me, so I guess I'll just stare at her"

But then again that "staring" would spill over into "nap time", so now we're talking about starting at someone the entire time that they're sleeping.....

.....I think I may have been a Sociopath.

Then Kindergarten happened.

I learned two things in Kindergarten that I still utilize to this day.

How to write the number 8.

I can still hear my old teacher, "Make an S, and shoot for the moon!"

I also learned how to open a sealed bag.

Boom. Two life lessons from Kindergarten. Now we're getting somewhere.

We're also getting to the end of my very first blog post, but don't worry, I'll have much more in the near future.

Until next time!