The Almost Version Of Yourself

 

There’s a version of you that almost existed.

Not some fantasy version of you either. Not billionaire-you. Not celebrity-you. Not some perfect unrealistic version that was never attainable to begin with.

I mean a real version.

A version of you that probably wasn’t separated from your current life by some massive impossible obstacle, but by a little more consistency, a little more confidence, better habits, different timing, or simply a different decision at the right moment.

And I think about that sometimes.

Not necessarily in a regretful way.

More in a reflective way.

Because if you look back on your life honestly, there were probably moments where things could have gone in a completely different direction.

There were crossroads that didn’t necessarily feel important at the time, but looking back now, you realize how much they actually mattered.

That one decision to start something.

That one decision to stop something.

That one opportunity you ignored.

That one moment where fear won.

Or maybe that one moment where you finally pushed through fear and did something anyway.

It’s strange how life can quietly shift direction without announcing it while it’s happening.

I’ve had moments like that in my own life.

There was an “almost version” of me that never switched careers.

I was comfortable at my old job. It was right down the street from my house, it was familiar, and even though I was making less money than I do now, it felt convenient. At the time, convenience felt safe.

But eventually, the leadership at that job changed for the worse, and that became the push I needed to finally move on.

At the time, it felt like a huge decision.

Now looking back on it, it was probably one of the most important decisions I’ve ever made.

Financially, it was the right move.

Personally, it was definitely the right move.

Some of my closest friendships in life came from the career I almost never took.

And what’s really strange is that even now, I still have moments where I stop and think:

“This almost never happened.”

That realization hits harder the older you get.

Because you start understanding how fragile some of life’s biggest turning points actually were.

Sometimes the “almost version” of yourself is positive.

It’s the version that stayed disciplined.

The version that kept going to the gym consistently.

The version that committed fully to the hobby instead of stopping halfway through.

The version that started creating sooner.

The version that believed in themselves earlier.

The version that stopped overthinking and just started.

But sometimes the “almost version” is negative too.

It’s the version that completely gave up.

The version that stayed bitter.

The version that let disappointment permanently harden them.

The version that stopped trying after one bad stretch in life.

And honestly, I don’t think people give themselves enough credit for not becoming certain versions of themselves.

Sometimes continuing to move forward at all is an accomplishment.

Sometimes surviving difficult periods without losing yourself completely deserves more recognition than people realize.

I also think people underestimate how easy it is to slowly drift toward self-destruction without realizing it while it’s happening.

I had an “almost version” of myself that could have gone down that road too.

I could have easily kept neglecting my health.

I could have kept putting off improving my diet.

I could have ignored exercise completely instead of building a workout routine that has now become such a regular part of my life that I genuinely can’t imagine not doing it anymore.

And honestly, there was a time where that healthier version of me didn’t feel guaranteed at all.

It felt optional.

Temporary.

Like something I’d “eventually” get around to.

But “eventually” can quietly turn into years if you let it.

The same thing happened with my dental health.

I had a less-than-stellar experience years ago that almost completely destroyed my trust in dentists.

And because of that, I avoided going back for seven years.

Seven.

Looking back now, that sounds insane to me.

But at the time, avoidance felt easier than trust.

Eventually, I found a new dentist who restored my faith in competent professionals, and now I’m finally back at full dental health again.

But that could have gone differently too.

That’s the part people don’t always think about.

The line between who you are and what you almost become can be paper-thin sometimes.

A few different choices.

A few more years of avoidance.

A few unhealthy habits left unchecked.

That’s all it takes for somebody’s trajectory to completely change.

And I think recognizing that should make people more compassionate toward themselves, but also more honest with themselves.

Because sometimes the life you want isn’t as far away as it feels.

But neither is the version of yourself you’re trying not to become.

And part of becoming that “almost version” of yourself usually involves regret somewhere along the way.

Do we all have regrets in life?

Of course we do.

And honestly, anybody who says they have no regrets is probably lying to you, and maybe even lying to themselves.

People love reframing regret by saying things like:

“I don’t regret anything because every mistake taught me something.”

And sure, maybe you did learn something from it.

That doesn’t mean you don’t regret the actual decision itself.

Those are two completely different things.

You can learn from a bad relationship and still regret staying in it too long.

You can learn from unhealthy habits and still regret the damage they caused while you were living through them.

You can grow from mistakes without pretending the mistakes themselves were somehow good.

I think regret gets misunderstood because people treat it like weakness when really it’s just awareness.

Regret means you can recognize that something could have gone differently.

And honestly, that awareness can either help you grow or slowly destroy you depending on what you do with it.

Because regret gives you two choices.

You can say:

“This mistake defines me.”

Or you can say:

“This almost defined me.”

And that difference can completely change the trajectory of your life.

The weird part is how small the differences usually are.

People think life changes happen through giant dramatic moments.

And sometimes they do.

But more often than not, your trajectory changes through repeated small decisions that don’t seem important in the moment.

One extra hour wasted every day.

One uncomfortable conversation avoided.

One excuse repeated long enough that it becomes part of your identity.

Or on the positive side, one walk turns into a routine. One workout turns into consistency. One random idea turns into a hobby, a project, or even something that becomes part of your life permanently.

That’s how change usually happens.

Quietly.

I think social media makes all of this harder too.

People constantly compare themselves to fully-developed versions of other people while judging themselves based on unfinished progress.

You compare your current chapter to somebody else’s highlight reel and then wonder why you feel behind.

That creates this constant feeling of:

“I could’ve been more.”

And maybe sometimes that feeling is partially true.

But I also think people underestimate how unfinished they still are.

Most people are still actively becoming who they’re going to be.

The story isn’t over yet.

And honestly, I think the “almost version” of yourself can either motivate you or haunt you depending on how you look at it.

If you obsess over missed opportunities forever, it becomes regret.

But if you recognize that change is still possible, it becomes perspective.

Because the future version of you is still being built right now.

You’re still making choices every single day that shape who that person becomes.

I also think people underestimate how much identity comes from repetition.

You don’t suddenly become disciplined overnight.

You don’t suddenly become confident, creative, healthy, or consistent all at once.

You become those things gradually through repeated behavior.

Which means the “almost version” of yourself usually isn’t separated by talent.

It’s separated by habits.

And honestly, that’s both frustrating and empowering at the same time.

Because habits sound small until you realize they slowly become your life.

Maybe that’s the biggest realization in all of this.

The “almost version” of yourself doesn’t have to stay “almost.”

Not entirely, anyway.

Some opportunities pass.

Some doors close.

That’s just life.

But there are probably parts of that version you can still move toward right now if you stop treating change like it needs to happen all at once.

Most meaningful change starts small.

Quietly.

Repeatedly.

Usually long before anybody else notices it.

I think everybody has a version of themselves they think about from time to time.

The person they almost became.

The life they almost lived.

But maybe the point isn’t to obsess over that version forever.

Maybe the point is to learn from it.

Because if there’s an “almost version” of you out there somewhere…

There’s also a future version of you that still hasn’t fully formed yet.

As usual, thanks for taking the time to read this folks, let's do it again next week!