I've learned quite a few things over the years.
Some through experience.
Some through observation.
Some because somebody else learned them the hard way and I was fortunate enough to be standing nearby.
And then there are the things that really shouldn't qualify as lessons at all.
Things that seem incredibly obvious, and yet somehow, through the course of everyday life, you continually encounter evidence that apparently they're not obvious to everybody.
So, after 40 years of extensive research, observation, trial and error, and occasionally watching somebody do something and wondering what possible series of decisions led them to that moment, I've reached a few conclusions.
It turns out you're supposed to stop at a stop sign every single time.
I guess some people don't realize that.
Apparently the red octagon isn't asking whether you're in a hurry.
It turns out your turn signal works before you start turning.
Incredible technology.
Other drivers can actually use that information to figure out what you're about to do.
It turns out the speed limit doesn't increase because you're late.
Apparently being behind schedule doesn't automatically unlock the bonus speed limit.
It turns out the people getting off an elevator should probably be allowed to get off before everybody else tries getting on.
Otherwise we've basically invented a doorway traffic jam for no reason.
It turns out walking directly in the middle of a crowded walkway while staring at your phone makes you considerably harder to walk around.
After spending multiple days walking around The Big E, I can confirm that this phenomenon is alive and well.
It turns out shopping carts have designated places where you can return them when you're finished.
You don't actually have to wedge one against a curb and hope that's somebody else's problem now.
It turns out being five minutes early is considerably less stressful than being five minutes late.
Give yourself a little extra time and suddenly every red light isn't a personal attack against you.
It turns out if you tell somebody you're going to be somewhere, they're probably expecting you to actually be there.
Preferably around the time you said you would be.
It turns out putting something off until the last possible second doesn't make you more efficient.
It just gives the task a deadline and an audience.
It turns out “I'll remember” is one of the least reliable organizational systems ever devised.
Write it down.
Put it in your calendar.
Set a reminder.
Your brain has plenty of other nonsense occupying valuable storage space.
It turns out putting your keys, wallet, or anything else you use every day in the same place makes it considerably easier to find them the next day.
I've been conducting this experiment for years.
The results are overwhelming.
It turns out you don't have to replace something simply because a newer version exists.
If the thing you already own still does everything you need it to do, congratulations: you already own the thing you need.
My iPhone 12 does absolutely everything I need from a cell phone, just like my 2017 Mazda 3 does everything I need from a car.
They don't send somebody to your house to confiscate the old one.
At least nobody from Apple or Mazda has shown up yet.
It turns out spending more money doesn't automatically mean you bought the better product.
Sometimes you paid for better quality.
Sometimes you paid an extra $200 because somebody made it a slightly different shade of gray.
It turns out there's a difference between something being expensive and something being unaffordable.
Something can be completely within your budget and still cost more than you're willing to pay for it.
It turns out sometimes the boring option is the best option.
Reliable car.
Comfortable shoes.
Enough sleep.
Paying your bills on time.
No car payment.
None of those things are particularly exciting, but boring has an excellent track record.
It turns out taking care of a small problem while it's still a small problem is considerably easier than waiting until it becomes an emergency.
The problem rarely gets bored and leaves on its own.
Countless fillings, root canals, and extractions later, trust me, attack the problem when it's small.
It turns out if you never ask the question, then the answer is always "no."
My Ultimate Photo Album wouldn't even exist if I didn't make the initial overture, repeatedly.
It turns out the thing you've been dreading for three days sometimes takes eleven minutes.
Then you get to spend the next hour wondering why you sacrificed three days of mental energy avoiding an eleven-minute task.
It turns out you can say no to an invitation without submitting a 14-page legal defense explaining your decision.
“I can't make it, but thanks for inviting me” remains perfectly acceptable.
It turns out having free time doesn't automatically mean you're available.
Sometimes what you're doing with that free time is absolutely nothing, and absolutely nothing was already the plan.
Despite what some people might tell you, everyone needs to decompress.
It turns out you don't have to turn every hobby into a side hustle.
You're allowed to be mediocre at something, enjoy doing it, make absolutely no money from it, and continue doing it anyway.
That's why I'll never stop playing Disc Golf.
It turns out being good at something doesn't mean you have to do it professionally.
Sometimes you're allowed to be good at something simply because you enjoy being good at it.
It turns out you can like something that everybody else hates.
You can also hate something everybody else loves.
There isn't actually a committee that's going to revoke your entertainment privileges.
Except for pickles, everyone should hate pickles.
It turns out you can have a favorite restaurant and occasionally order something other than your usual meal.
I haven't independently verified this one yet.
It turns out you don't need an opinion about everything.
Sometimes “I don't know enough about that” is the most intelligent contribution you can make to a conversation.
There are also plenty of things I just don't want to know enough about to begin with.
It turns out saying “I don't know” is considerably better than confidently making something up.
The sentence doesn't physically hurt when you say it.
I've checked.
Like I wish I knew why people like olives, but sadly, I don't know.
Ouch.
That one did physically hurt.
It turns out changing your mind after receiving new information isn't necessarily hypocrisy.
Sometimes that's just what happens when you learn something you didn't know yesterday.
It turns out disagreeing with somebody doesn't require you to immediately decide they're an idiot, a terrible person, or your sworn enemy.
Sometimes two reasonable people can look at the same thing and reach different conclusions.
It turns out you can admit somebody else made a good point without automatically losing the argument.
Acknowledging a good point doesn't mean you have to surrender and hand over your debate license.
It turns out “that's how we've always done it” explains why something is done.
It doesn't necessarily explain why it should be done.
It turns out being older than somebody doesn't automatically make you wiser than them.
You've simply had more opportunities.
Whether you actually learned anything from those opportunities is another question entirely.
It turns out listening to somebody and waiting for your opportunity to talk are two completely different activities.
It's also possible to think about what you're going to say next without completely turning your ears off in the meantime.
Multitasking!
It turns out sometimes somebody telling you about a problem isn't secretly handing you a troubleshooting ticket.
They might just want somebody to listen.
It turns out “I was only joking” doesn't magically make a joke funny.
Sometimes you attempted a joke and it bombed.
It happens.
Take the loss.
It turns out an apology becomes considerably less effective when the second half explains why everything was actually the other person's fault.
Show true remorse, and be sincere.
It takes humility, but that's the point.
It turns out saying “thank you” is free.
Holding the door for the person behind you costs approximately two seconds.
Returning something somebody lent you is generally considered part of borrowing it.
There are a surprising number of ways to make life slightly more pleasant for the people around you without making your own life any harder.
It turns out you can be friends with somebody without having every single interest in common.
If you needed to agree on everything and enjoy all the same things, you'd basically just be looking for another version of yourself.
It turns out you can be extremely competitive and still congratulate somebody who beat you.
Believe me, I don't enjoy losing.
But if you beat me fair and square, you beat me fair and square.
I'm still going to try to beat you next time.
It turns out losing at something you're trying to improve at is considerably more useful than winning at something that never challenges you.
That doesn't mean I have to enjoy the losing part.
Everyone is going to lose at some point, but if you don't learn anything from it, then you've lost twice.
It turns out you don't have to document every good moment while it's happening.
Sometimes you can just be there.
Shared memories between just those who were there can be some of the greatest memories ever.
It turns out being busy and being productive aren't the same thing.
You can spend an entire day doing things and somehow accomplish absolutely nothing you actually needed to do.
It turns out getting enough sleep feels better than getting four hours of sleep and attempting to replace the missing four with caffeine and determination.
Good sleep can't be replicated.
It turns out taking care of yourself isn't wasted time.
Eating better, exercising, getting some sleep, going outside, taking a day off when you genuinely need one—your body has an irritating tendency to notice when you've been neglecting it.
It turns out if your feet hurt after walking 40,000 steps, the solution might actually be sitting down.
This is one of my more recent discoveries.
It turns out food tastes considerably better when you're hungry.
This has been peer-reviewed by me on numerous occasions.
Your grocery bill also gets much higher when you're hungry.
It turns out your phone's battery lasts longer when you stop looking at it every thirty seconds to see how much battery it has left.
Unfortunately, checking again five minutes later doesn't seem to recharge it either.
If it did, my phone would always be at 100%.
It turns out leaving yourself ten extra minutes can eliminate an astonishing number of completely avoidable problems.
There's nothing quite like being able to sit in the car for an extra five minutes once you get to your destination.
It can actually work wonders.
It turns out you rarely regret making time for something that genuinely matters to you.
Having a sense of accomplishment can help brighten the gloomy days.
It turns out spending time with people you care about usually matters considerably more than finding the perfect thing to do while you're together.
Sometimes even sitting around deciding what you're going to do becomes part of the fun.
It turns out a lot of things you once considered incredibly important eventually become things you barely remember.
Just look at cursive handwriting.
It turns out most people aren't still thinking about that embarrassing thing you did six years ago.
They're too busy occasionally remembering the embarrassing thing they did six years ago.
It turns out life gets considerably easier when you stop assuming everybody is paying as much attention to you as you are.
Most people are too busy living their own lives to spend much time analyzing yours.
It turns out there are plenty of things worth taking seriously.
Yourself doesn't always have to be one of them.
And it turns out most of these aren't profound revelations at all.
That's probably the point.
Thanks for reading this folks!
Until next time!
